Working in us that which is pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ.

Hey, I have to say, right now I feel so happy and blessed by the grace of God. That the triles of the past 4 weeks were worth so much of the pain and worry. I love Hebrews 13:21b " Equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. I went through alot of doubts and confusion these past weeks. I truly felt that I was getting to the top of a huge hill ( we go through many) and my body and my heart were failing me, I was scared of trying to fight keep moving on  when I had nothing left but be lead blindly by Christ. To keep Christ as my focus and keep moving to the top.My faith was so weak, (  emotionally) I was scared and did want to move. I was tired of life. I did what Christ wanted me to do in making certian choices but I was afraid of walking on over the hill, to find out His plan and will for how things will turn out based on those choices. I trusted Christ but when I got to the top of the hill, it would most definatly either show that my heart was fullly Christ's or still in this area of my life I'm serving myself and had not learned a thing again. I was so afraid I was failing Christ, my faith was weak and I was emotional sick and tired. I finally got to a point where I felt that either way Christ was teaching me no matter what I did, He is making me more like Him and He will do what he needs to draw me close to Himself. Though the pain of my not surrending myself to Christ in these areas would hurt me so bad, Christ will cover me with his mercy guide me back and help me through the punishment.
        All praise be to God, I made it to the top and though things are still a blurr.. I know that, I have given my heart totally and fully to Christ( only though Christ mercy can I do this). He has helped me though these trials to be more like Him and I with His help was addressing issues and choices  in the right manner and I need not worry or fret because my heart was and still is depending on Him. My reaction to the unknown is faith and I embrace the unknown and I know now that these months were preparing me to have stronger faith and to reasure me that my heart truly does belong to my Saviour. That was the sweetest moment I have felt in so long, a sense of peace and acknowledgement, like having your eyes opened to another amazing aspect of Christ. I have no desire on this earth but Christ. That I embrace the unknown because Christ has a purpose and I must trust him to guide me through it and I'm in the safest place when I let Him guide me though the unknown, instead of trying to figure out everything. God bless you all and pray for me :)