Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Restless
So, want to know how I am feeling as of today?
Between trying to find another job, looking into colleges, looking at majors, I am feeling frustrated.
I feel I have an in general idea of what I would like to do and what I need to do in the present to help but I do not have the detailed blue prints and I am restless. I am at a point where I am ready to fly but there is a hump and I cant tell what it is or how to get over it
This poem explains how I feel.....
Restless- By Me
Here I sit, same place, same smell
I am itching to move
I dream big but still standing in the same place
Watching people go by while I still stand in the same spot ...
Wanting to fly away but my feet are shuffling on the ground
My mask is hiding my restlessness
Wait on the Lord yes I will but inside a fire is stirring
and I am not sure I can keep this mask on forever
People say don't stay in the past or future
So, I fight to stay in the present and fight my demons
To dream big, not to doubt, to work hard no matter what others are saying
Don't let words or people success trip me up to question my path
So, here I sit, same place, smell, itching to move
I keep still and do my thing, waiting for my time
I am quite faithless and believe that I am going to be stuck paying student loans for another 2 years like I have been and my future looks bleak. I feel that I'm just going through life in a fog, my mind and heart elsewhere....
I heard good advice which is in my poem which is " Don't stay in the past or the future, it can and will mess you up" Not that it is bad but they said that the present is just important and more valid.
The Bible does say do not worry about the next day for that day will take care of itself,
I feel I do the floating though the present too much, I am so out of tune with the blessings and the work I am doing right now. I am blessed to be working for the most real family ever and I am starting to get back on my feet and the Lord has blessed me with a deeper sense of Him but I am dreaming and reflecting too much in the future and the past that I am missing the now and blessings of air, birds, and sunshine....
Wow, think I just taught myself a lesson, see when we take the time to see how faithless we are and search for it we can see our habits of faithlessness and attack it.
Blessings and Keep the Faith
Monique
Monday, February 9, 2015
Wise in The Lord
Hello, whoever is out there taking the time to read this. I send my greetings about 3 years later.
Can I just say it was amazing reading my posts from the past, those were such hard times and it is amazing to see God blessing me with wisdom beyond my imagination that I did not know I could utter or express.
So, here I am 22 and I would say quite different from 19, the difference is huge and I mean personality wise and character wise. I would say years 21 to 22 gave me my back bone and made me more reserved and quite and more aware of things around me. I developed this tough girl layer of skin that comes in handy but can trip me up if I use it for hiding from situations instead of dealing with it. I also got a huge bitch slap from life in every area of my life so I would say I have been stretched father than I thought I would ever be stretched. Between crazy emotions, crushes, spiritual backsliding, family stuff, future, working, providing for myself, financial problems, sin I would NEVER think I would have a problem with, it has been a time of redesigning of Miss Monique Michelle, God literally struck every area of my life and is now in the process of remolding.
Basically what I am getting is that I thought I had an idea of who I was. Monique was a happy- go lucky, free- spirited, loved to laugh and loved God and would be done with college like every one else, have a boyfriend and eventually get married and have those babies she has always dreamed of.
Having God struck every area of my life and remold make me realize that my expectations where very low and not even in full sync with God, there was more to me than I thought. God used my situation and people to show me that what God has for me I need to pull my focus on what God teaches me which is that I am a walking declaration of the gospel and my thoughts are not God's thoughts and it is o,k, to live and make mistakes but that communion and abiding with Christ is so important though the growing and the learning, always coming back to the gospel and what Jesus did.
So, I encourage you to STOP...... and to examine the dearness of the gospel and dwell on Jesus.
The most important thing I, have learned so far in life is that connection between God and you is the most important thing and powerful and amazing thing and you need to search it out because what you think it is defiantly not the full picture plus the Bible says of What man can understand the ways of the Lord but our lives are based on growing that connection and understanding it and deepen our relationship.
I feel modern Christianity stays on God being a loving Father but there is so much more. Like sins that blind us from the truth of God, or how God hates sin and loves justice, and a God who is keeping this world who wasn't created for all this evil and is keeping the world from destroying us and if God left even a tiny section with out His guidance we would be destroyed.
I would love to keep going but I think we should stop there and I leave you with this Psalm. It is my favorite but David is the best who understand the thirsting after God and how important it is to be seeking, meditating and dwelling of our connection to the amazing, powerful, faithful, longsuffering Lord....
( King James Version)
O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
8 My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.
Many blessing in the month God bless,
Monique
Can I just say it was amazing reading my posts from the past, those were such hard times and it is amazing to see God blessing me with wisdom beyond my imagination that I did not know I could utter or express.
So, here I am 22 and I would say quite different from 19, the difference is huge and I mean personality wise and character wise. I would say years 21 to 22 gave me my back bone and made me more reserved and quite and more aware of things around me. I developed this tough girl layer of skin that comes in handy but can trip me up if I use it for hiding from situations instead of dealing with it. I also got a huge bitch slap from life in every area of my life so I would say I have been stretched father than I thought I would ever be stretched. Between crazy emotions, crushes, spiritual backsliding, family stuff, future, working, providing for myself, financial problems, sin I would NEVER think I would have a problem with, it has been a time of redesigning of Miss Monique Michelle, God literally struck every area of my life and is now in the process of remolding.
Basically what I am getting is that I thought I had an idea of who I was. Monique was a happy- go lucky, free- spirited, loved to laugh and loved God and would be done with college like every one else, have a boyfriend and eventually get married and have those babies she has always dreamed of.
Having God struck every area of my life and remold make me realize that my expectations where very low and not even in full sync with God, there was more to me than I thought. God used my situation and people to show me that what God has for me I need to pull my focus on what God teaches me which is that I am a walking declaration of the gospel and my thoughts are not God's thoughts and it is o,k, to live and make mistakes but that communion and abiding with Christ is so important though the growing and the learning, always coming back to the gospel and what Jesus did.
So, I encourage you to STOP...... and to examine the dearness of the gospel and dwell on Jesus.
The most important thing I, have learned so far in life is that connection between God and you is the most important thing and powerful and amazing thing and you need to search it out because what you think it is defiantly not the full picture plus the Bible says of What man can understand the ways of the Lord but our lives are based on growing that connection and understanding it and deepen our relationship.
I feel modern Christianity stays on God being a loving Father but there is so much more. Like sins that blind us from the truth of God, or how God hates sin and loves justice, and a God who is keeping this world who wasn't created for all this evil and is keeping the world from destroying us and if God left even a tiny section with out His guidance we would be destroyed.
I would love to keep going but I think we should stop there and I leave you with this Psalm. It is my favorite but David is the best who understand the thirsting after God and how important it is to be seeking, meditating and dwelling of our connection to the amazing, powerful, faithful, longsuffering Lord....
( King James Version)
O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
8 My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.
Many blessing in the month God bless,
Monique
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)